zeraphimpoetry (zeraphimpoetry) wrote in medfree_anxiety,

waking up

waking up with tremendous anxiety each day...I'm asleep and dreaming which is totally relaxed, then wake up and for a few moments the totally relaxed feeling continues, usually at this point I don't know yet where I am. Then when I start to realize where I am, and who I am, anxiety descends on me very hard and fast. It's not a particular thought of "Oh, this is what's wrong."
Speaking with a friend a few moments ago I postulated that this happens because I am so adept at dealing with potential anxiety during the day- I aim to stop any fear in its tracks as quickly as possible and do so relatively well. I think perhaps it is stored up by this mechanism. n truth, the state of my life scares me quite a bit, but I keep up a constant "everything is ok; besides there is no POINT in fear," attitude. Universally I feel that this is true, everythign IS ok and no matter what the circumstance is, being afraid isn't going to help. But it seems my body has some other ideas and I do still have real feelings circulating around the issues I think about day in and day out.
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